Dear Sniffles,

I didn't know if you quite understood my feelings towards you. Let me indulge you. I hate walking up in the middle of the night, not being able to breathe because of you. I hate blowing my nose in the middle of the class room because of you. I hate all the gargling noises I make because of you. I hate being tired all day because of you. I hope you now know, how I feel. I also hope you know that I am taking action! I haven't given up yet! I'm bringing out the big guns- namely Dayquil and Niquil. Yea, you better be scared.

Love,
Vanessa

Shoo Fly, Don't Bother me.

There has been this fat, ugly fly buzzing around our apartment for the past week. I hate it. I hate flies. they are gross and ugly. They always get in the food and fly around your head. I have been trying to kill this booger for a while now, but today, something snapped and I wanted him dead. I walked around with my massive math textbook, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. But he was too quick! I couldn't catch him. He was teasing me and laughing at me, I knew it. Eventually my dear husband suggested using something smaller and faster to kill our annoying friend. He is so smart. I pulled out my trusty flippy-floppy and hunted that fly. I snuck up on him, and pounced! I knocked him dead and now I can live in peace again.